WORSHIPFUL MASTER

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than an Intercity Express

Is faster than a speeding bullet

Walks on water

Gives policy to God

 

SENIOR WARDEN

Leaps short buildings with a single bound

Is more powerful than a goods train

Is just as fast as a speeding bullet

Walks on water if the sea is calm

Talks with God

 

JUNIOR WARDEN

Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favorable wind

Is almost as powerful as a goods train

Is faster than a speeding air gun pellet

Walks on water of a swimming pool

Talks with God if special dispensation is given

SENIOR DEACON

Barely clears a garden hut

Loses a tug-of-war with a train

Can fire a speeding bullet

Swims well

Is occasionally addressed by God

 

JUNIOR DEACON

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings

Is run over by trains

Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury

Doggie paddles

Talks with the animals

 

Tyler

Runs into buildings

Recognizes trains two out of three times

Is not issued ammunition

Can stay afloat with a life vest

Talks to walls

 

Pursuivant

Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings

Says "Look at the choo choo's"

Wets himself with a water pistol

Plays in mud puddles

Mumbles to himself

 

SECRETARY

Lifts buildings and walks under them

Kicks trains off the track

Catches speeding bullets in his mouth and eats them

Freezes water with a single glance

HE IS GOD !

 

 

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